Days Of Our Lives

But U know, at the same time I realizes that I am wrong
I am not that strong

It’s just my defend mechanism
My methods of survival
My instinct to preserve

Today is one of the days when I feel bitter about “it”
When “ its” words finally could piercing troughs my firewall

Hhhh……………..
And I thought,that I’ve become numb
I thought when ***** hurt me again, I won’t feel anything
“big surprise!!” I would said
***** already done enough damage, no more left……

But still its hurt,
But still I cried

hh…..
well……… Its will always feel hurt when
The one that suppose to love U, just hate U
The one that suppose to protect U, abandon U
The one that suppose to defend U’r honor,
Is turn out to be the very one that try to dishonoring U
The one that U want to make proud of, just think and speak low of U

Hhh……well yeah, I cried
But not because of the words
I cried cause I am afraid
Not afraid of *****
Naaah…..Never!!!

I am afraid of destiny
I am afraid with “what if”
“What if the history just repeated it self?”
“What if I had to face this problem again, but with different casts?”

To be honest, I don’t think I could handle it anymore
I prays that “that” won’t happen to me

But U know something?!
no one want “that”  happen to them self
But still…”.it” happen
So what is so great about me, so I could avoid”it”?

Hhh……
Again, only God could answer
What ever will be, will be…
After all the future not ours to see

I can only continuing to think positive

After all;
Like the rainbow that appears after the rain
So its would always take a lot to laugh as the tears goes down

I can think of the “ invisible scars” that I had because of “that” as trophies
Proofs of my existence, my milestones; things that I could be bragging of

After all, the battles inside no match to the battle outside, right?
Especially when U can keep the battle outside to be well hidden inside of U….